Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Money for Nothin and chicks for free

Memoir 21075

As promised to my few but faithful followers.... not to worry the book deal is coming....


So I was 21 and living on Maui. I moved over there about 4 weeks before I turned 21 and lived there all summer. Our plan was simple, my friend put it together for us so we had two condos, one for the girls (four of them) and one for the guys (4 of us). We paid our rent before we moved over there so all we had to do was work for enough money for food and fun. I waited tables at night and surfed all day.... The life

It was in early July we decided to take a trip to Hana. Some of you may recall the world famous road to Hana, which entails 57 one lane bridges. We booked a cottage for one night, filled up our car with gas and headed out on the road. Our car was an early 1980's stationwagon which we had rented for three months from a rental agency called "good Karma rentals"..... and our car depended on just that. At one point during the summer we had to stop using the rear hatch door 'cause the hinges had rusted through and the door began to fall off. Lisa, myself, and our dear friend Todd were the only three who were on the lease to drive it. Todd was driving when I collected the money to fill up the tank. When I filled the tank up there was $8 left over, we agreed that I would keep it and put it in the tank on the way back since we would probably need fuel by then.... And that's when it begins to be interesting....

On the ride home we were on our way across the island from kahaluui to Kihei (the home stretch) We didn't need any more fuel so they asked me to divide up the money. I had purposely got all ones since I knew everyone would be expecting something. Todd was driving, Lynette was in the front middle, I was front window, and the other girls were in the back. I handed out dollars and said "one for you, one for you, one for me..... One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me..... It all started as a joke and I ended up with the extra two dollars.

After a very short and subtle chuckle from the front seat a voice from the back says "haha very funny now divide up the rest" Now granted at this point in my life I had failed calculus twice.... but I was pretty sure I didn't have any quarters on me to divide up two dollars between six people.... and I was also pretty sure the 50 cents a person wasn't going to break anybody or make them go hungry. So realizing that they were serious about wanting there money back right then I began to chuckle and said "I apologize I usually keep a minimum of ten quarters on me but today I don't"....

They began to be a little agitated and I thought it all the more ridiculous. So without warning I hatched a new plan... I said "I know how we can make this easier" and I rolled my window down and threw out one of the dollars. Well needless to say they didn't find it nearly as funny as I did. I was busting up laughing and They were pissed.... Todd was trying to keep a straight face 'cause he was friends with them too and knew they took this kind of thing very serious, but also had a good enough sense of the situation to realize what I was doing was incredibly funny. .....

So I tried to remain calm and said "relax... you just made a homeless guy's day, he'll find the dollar and be able to get something to eat." at this somebody chimed in "yeah ... well... he'll probably walk up and down the road looking for more." To which in one swift motion I rolled down my window and said "your probably right.... and I threw the other remaining dollar out the window."

Now I was laughing, Todd was laughing, Lynette was amused but not really saying anything, and everyone else was IRATE! That trip marked the end of the times when we all would hang out together and enjoy each others company. One of the girls did not care for me too much and all summer it was a growing tension..... So i think everything I did that may not have been times worse. I will elaborate more on this in the section of my memoirs devoted to my "unparalleled success with the ladies"